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one time she beat me at the olympics, it was awesome

Raise your hand if your country has been personally victimized by Regina George.

That is so fetch.

On Fridays we wear gold.

I hear her legs are insured for $10,000.

I can’t win silver, I’m on an all-carb diet. GOD Russia you’re so stupid! 

If you’re from Africa, why is your name white?

Oh my god, r4inbro, you can’t just ask someone why their name is white.

Stop trying to make Russia happen. It’s not going to happen!

Get in loser, we’re going running.

She’s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Graciela Martins. We were best friends in the 2008 Beijing Olympics. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then at the World Championships, I started running my personal best which was totally awesome but then I moved to Niger, and Graciela was, like, weirdly jealous of it. Like, if I would blow her off to go running at the track, she’d be like, “Why didn’t you call me back?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for the Olympic qualifiers, which was an all-girls track meet, I was like, “Graciela, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re a Guinean.” I mean I couldn’t have a Guinean at my track meet. There were gonna be girls there from around the world. I mean, right? She was a GUINEAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of track because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the summer for the Olympics, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she’s in 7th place.

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